What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor one’s and others’ emotions, differentiate between emotions, and properly label and use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior.
Here is the model introduced by Daniel Goleman, which focuses on a wide range of competencies and important leadership skills. Goleman’s model underlines five main constructs:
- self-awareness – the ability to know one’s own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values and goals, to recognize their impact on others and to use the instinct to make decisions
- self-regulation – involves controlling or redirecting disruptive emotions and impulses and adapting to changing circumstances
- social skills – managing relationships to move people in the desired direction
- empathy – to take into account the feelings of other people especially when making decisions
- motivation – to be determined to get things done
Having a good emotional intelligence means paying attention to your emotions and those around you. Emotional intelligence also means: what determines the emotions, what preserves them, how you pass from one to the other, how you can use them for your own benefit and those you share your existence with, at work, at home, at school.
We are all familiar with a series of psychological tests of emotional intelligence, personality tests and intelligence tests and if you take half an hour to complete a free IQ test available on the internet, you will find various coefficients regarding your numerical intelligence, memory, imagination, creativity.
An online IQ test helps you get an idea of your cognitive traits – which you can train! – and then you can start to test your personality or emotional intelligence. It is important to emphasize that these psychological tests are not online games or entertainment contests. The fact that you record a coefficient or another in an IQ test does not make you “worse” than someone else but it gives you a measure of the level at which you use your cognitive and emotional potential.
Until now it is considered that hiding your emotions is one of the most important virtues, especially in the business world. There are whole cultures where the expression of emotions is still considered a form of weakness.
In Western culture an entire generation of scholars, who have researched the human psyche, the individual, the social group, human relations, performance at work and outside it, the mechanisms and dynamics of couple and family relationships, have come to the conclusion that the repression of emotions is, in the best case, a brake on personal development.
Emotional intelligence represents a higher degree of knowledge of one’s feelings, a correct interpretation of the emotions of others and an efficient channeling of these emotions in order to optimize the environment in which we interact and to reach the individual and group goals.
Emotional Intelligence Test
As the IQ tests show you the many facets of your cognitive abilities and help you work on improving them, here are presented to you some Emotional Intelligence Quotients or rather an EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient) to guide you, together with some tips, to improve your emotional relationship with yourself and with the world. Right now, you can learn to use your energy in a moment of anger for constructive purposes, exuberance and optimism in better work performance and in harmony with the family.
You can turn your fear back into the joy, you can be surprised and adaptable to change, you can turn sadness into determination and the power to become better.
An IQ test, as well as different tests of emotional intelligence (EQ test) help us build a mental and emotional map of our own person, map our emotions and work with them in a way that we do not were aware until now.
That is why the question “were you emotionally intelligent today?” is extremely relevant to each of us and can be supplemented by the question: “how much emotional intelligence did you show today?”
A lot of extremely intelligent people have been renowned for their inability to have a decent social (and sociable) presence. These people probably have top cognitive intelligence, while – if they did an emotional intelligence test – the results would be worrying.
Most of us go to an online IQ test in the average coefficient area, somewhere between 95-100 and 110-115 points. The big surprise comes from the fact that we can overcome the inability to be a genius by training emotional intelligence.
In addition to the online tests of emotional intelligence, here you can do a self-assessment of how you are controlling emotions or channeling them, here is your short-term emotional development plan:
1. Write down the emotions that you felt one day, the source from which you think the consequences that you have felt come from; Try to do this for a week and follow those emotions that are repeated and the results they have for you (do they make you feel good or bad?).
2. Do the same with the closest people (from home, from work), especially those with whom you happen to have conflicts and also those who feel that you are giving energy and good will; write down your situations and reflect on them; what determined them?
3. Using the information in points 1 and 2, try to track your own reactions and validate your emotions before “letting go”. If you are irritated by a colleague, who is unfairly accusing you to the boss for making a wrong report, you can exceed the moment of maximum intensity of emotion and show them, with a smile on the lips that the report is correct and that he made a confusion. How would you do that? How would it make you feel?
Isn’t a more pleasant alternative than to play for the role of victim who defends himself against all the accusations and injustices in the world, “biting” his opponent? Try to convert moments of maximum emotion into moments of reflection in which to understand what you are feeling and to take advantage of this understanding and to “move” differently than you would normally do.
You will see how you begin to resolve conflicts, how you begin to feel better, how you begin to understand the appreciation of others and how a situation that normally brought irritation, anger, disappointment and rancor becomes a good opportunity to show your strength of character, the lively spirit and the nature of a beautiful and complete personality.
Similarly, in situations where you feel positive emotions, reflecting on what determines them and how they influence you, helps you to increase their frequency and extend their duration. You can also proceed at home.
4. After you pass the first 3 points, we can say that you passed your first emotional intelligence test.
It transforms the understanding of emotions and their manipulation into an art of total control, through continuous training. Emotional control does not mean repressing your feelings, but transforming destructive emotions into constructive results. Through trials, through failures, but without giving up. Because, as one teacher once said, repetition is the mother of learning.